It’s time to live my life…

Dear Family and Friends:

On Tuesday, October 28, I was privileged to be invited to tell my story in a video for the website Empowher.com. This website was started in Phoenix for women to find high quality information about women’s health issues. This is a really great website and it is in the process of being updated. The new www.empowher.com website will be released on November 4th.

As Michelle and I headed down to Tucson on Wednesday for treatment I had so many questions stirring around my head. Why do the treatments for ovarian cancer differ?

As most of you know, I have been treated by Dr. Chambers at the Arizona Cancer Center in Tucson. I actually started my treatment up here in Phoenix at St. Joseph’s Hospital right after my diagnosis. I received a dose of Taxol and Carboplatinum on September 20, 2007. Shortly thereafter I was referred to Dr. Chambers, a gynecologist-oncologist and had my first visit with her on October 5. Surgery was scheduled for October 9 in Tucson and my first round of intra-peritoneal chemotherapy consisting of Taxol and Cisplatinum began on October 24th. I finished 6 rounds of this type of IP chemotherapy and then continued to have Taxol once a month as part of a “consolidation” or “maintenance” program which was to continue for a full 12 months. This past Wednesday was my 8th treatment of the 12 I was to get.

Anyway, before I get ahead of myself, I wondered why the women who were being treated here in Phoenix were not being offered the 12 month consolidation program. I have found they were being treated with the 6 doses of intra-peritoneal chemotherapy only. I didn’t know if I should feel badly for them or myself? And why aren’t all the doctors on the same page?

During the course of my treatment, I also had the privilege of meeting Dr. Benito at the Ovarian Cancer Institute in Atlanta, Ga. He told me at that time that I was receiving the “Gold Standard of Care” when it came to dealing with ovarian cancer – this “gold standard” consisted of the 6 doses of intra-peritoneal chemotherapy along with the consolidation treatment. Dr. Chambers reiterated this to me again on Wednesday.

I think being at a teaching and research hospital makes a difference. They are always on the cutting edge and willing to push the envelope in order to save lives.

Now to get back to what happened on Wednesday. Dr. Chambers came into the examination room and asked how I was doing in particular with the peripheral neuropathy. Of course, it is getting worse with each treatment but it is still tolerable.

Before I even got a chance to ask her about why different treatment options are offered, she explained that I was receiving the “gold standard of care” going through the 12 month consolidation program of Taxol once a month. And even though this treatment would be my 8th after the intra-peritoneal (I had already had an additional dose of Taxol prior to surgery), I was really on my 9th dose overall. Dr. Chambers felt the balance with the peripheral neuropathy getting worse that the treatment course had been reached. She stated that if I only had two years left, what quality of life did I want? Was it worth having to be in a wheelchair? Hell NO! She believes that I have done everything to fight the ovarian cancer and if it returns it is not because I did not follow the course or quit. She really felt it was time for me to stop treatment and start living life to its fullest again. Although she didn’t intend for me to have treatment that day, I told her since I was already psyched up for it I would follow through.

So off I went to my last chemotherapy treatment!!!! Wow! What a feeling of excitement and also fear! As I mentioned to Dr. Chambers, I was using these consolidation treatments as a crutch, knowing as long as I had chemo I felt like the cancer could not come back. She assured me this was natural and most people feel this way, there is a lot uncertainty and most people start to feel depression and anxiety. This is understandable for sure.

Well, after I finished my last chemo on Wednesday, the nurses gathered around me and “bubbled” me. They all blew bubbles at me and congratulated and wished me well. As I sit here now I feel so remiss that I have not given more kudos to the wonderful staff and nurses at the Arizona Cancer Center, they are the best. I cannot image being treated anywhere else. I truly appreciate the devotion they have to their job and the loving and empathetic care they have for all their patients. I thank them for all they have given to me.

I feel at this point that I cannot look back. I need to stay focused on the future and do all I can to stay in the present moment!