This is what I know for sure…

Dear Family and Friends:

This is what I know for sure… July 29th I had an appointment with Dr. Chambers. I went to Tucson to stay the night with Michelle who was taking the Bar! I had my CA-125 drawn in Tucson because I did not get home from Van Couver until Tuesday morning and I knew the results would not make it to Tucson before my appointment.

Well, Dr. Chambers came into the room and informed me my CA-125 was up to 23. She told me not to worry about this as I normally get my blood drawn in Phoenix and it could be due to using a different assay. My exam was normal at that time and I left feeling really good with another appointment scheduled for 3 months. Dr. Chambers just requested that I get another CA-125 in one month in Phoenix to compare.

So on August 26th I went to the lab in Phoenix to have my blood drawn. I will admit I have been under a little bit of stress! I received a call from Tucson the very next day. Usually I don’t get the results for 2 days. Oh my god! the blood results were 36. My CA-125 was definitely rising! The gynecology oncology nurses in Tucson are fabulous! They set up an appointment for me to see Dr. Chambers the following Friday, September 4th. But in the meantime I was to get a CT. I immediately call St. Joe’s to set up a CT for the following day. I begged for the appointment, because Michelle and I were leaving for New York on Sunday to go to the US Open, see Michael Franti, Hair and Wicked. I was not going to cancel this trip. I had this trip planned for months and was so excited to go.

I got the CT on Friday, and as usual, John Shufeldt, showed up at my appointment and gave me the results that day. The CT was clear without metastasis or any sign of anything. I was so relieved.

Heading to New York was really perfect timing. It took my mind off of everything. Michelle and I had SUCH a great time! We came home on Thursday, September 3rd.

I headed to Tucson on Friday for my appointment with Dr. Chambers. Again my physical exam was normal, and with the CA-125 still being low considering treatment at this time was not recommended.

However, she did inform me that if the test continued to increase she wanted to put me into a clinical trial. Dr. Chambers stated the clinical research nurse was available if I wanted to speak with her about the trial. Of course I did, I just wanted to know what the landscape might look like if the CA-125 continued to increase. More on that later… Dr. Chambers asked me to take another CA-125 that day before I left to go back to Phoenix just check again.

Oh yes, by the way, Billie came home from Drake on Thursday and she drove me to Tucson. So great to have her home for the weekend. We all miss her so much! She is such a beautiful, insightful and intelligent woman, just like her sisters. I have been truly blessed for these fabulous women in my life. Thank you girls for all you are and all you do for me.

Well, you will not believe this! Just as I started to write this blog, literally got 2 sentences written and my cell phone rang. I saw it was from the AZ Cancer Center and all I could think was “dear god please let the number stay the same.”

Unfortunately, I was informed the CA-125 is now 58. @#$% – @#$% – @%@# – %@^# – ^$&*!!!!!!. I don’t know if I can say 4-letter words on a blog. I honestly fell apart. Sam, the oncology nurse, bless her heart, got to hear the 4-letter words, the tears falling and the panic I felt. Now what…

Sam informed me Dr. Chamber is out of town and she will email her right away and contact the clinical research nurse. I just asked her how this could be. The CT is normal, my physical exam is normal, what does all this mean. Actually, I know what this means.

When I had the appointment with Dr. Chambers last Friday she said she was so surprised to see my levels going up so soon that she really did not expect this at all. I had done everything I was supposed to do for the past 2 years. Yes, it was literally September 16, 2007 when I was diagnosed. Hard to believe 15 months of treatment and it appears I am heading for more.

This disease has definitely changed the course and situation of my life but it will not define me. Just another road block for the time being. Even though it has taken months of my life to get through the treatment, I still don’t see myself as a cancer patient! I see myself as me.

I appreciate all of you who pray for me and I really do feel your energy.

Much Love, Colleen